I No Longer Exist Here! Go to jokeadekunle.wordpress.com

Hey! Quick to the message,

I moved to Wordpress a while back but I just figured Google won't let it appear on the first page of the search results for my name so if you'd like to read more from me, head over to Jokeadekunle.wordpress.com.
Or simply sign up to my weekly newsletter here, you'll get a mail from me every Saturday. Cheers.

Baby Blabs in "Mature" Communication.

I got on my laptop to send a mail to my boss on a very difficult topic, especially since I couldn't broach it to him when I called earlier in the day; and as I typed in the last sentence, "I hope you understand".. my mind raced back to some 15 years ago in my home back in Lagos. I was barely 10 and I had a private lesson teacher who came around the house every other day of the week to teach me and my siblings mathematics, english and one other subject we never really liked; this private lesson teacher was also a head teacher in my youngest brother's school. Let's just call him Mr A.


Mr A. came to the house one evening and before I said a word to him, he asked me to go on my knees. I then had to go through some form of interrogation... why? I had gone through my youngest brother's note the previous day and noticed many grammatical and spelling errors, I made corrections with my pen and wrote at the bottom of two different pages "aunty you understand". what in my opinion was supposed to be a nice assistance rendered turned out to be a pointless criticism by a 7 year old to an adult, teaching her a job she's been doing for years...

It could happen anywhere; in our daily interactions with people, while you are at the supermart chatting up a new friend, writing a report to your boss, drafting a letter to your loved ones or colleague, in your relationship with people; we sometimes convey the wrong messages.

Communication is a two-way street, there's always a receiver and a sender. To convey the right message at each point in time, you have to go outside yourself or at the very least, way over into the next person. If it takes you hours to draft that letter, do it. Just make sure you are reading through the mind of the receiver. Read up that report once more before it gets to your boss' desk, listen and pay attention more than you talk; to truly communicate the right things, you have to care a little bit more about the other person.

I paraphrased that sentence many times over to be sure I was passing the right message to my boss, Mr A. never believed I wasn't being rude to my brother's class teacher and the rest remains history.

2 Things I (You) Shouldn’t Do Today.

1.      Have no clearly defined, achievable goals: it’s easy to have a myriad of goals and feel like Superman who is a guru at multi-tasking, but I realise that’s why he’s Superman; he’s Superhuman. On the other side of the scale, there’s me (or you); I’m human, I have limits, I like to multitask –or I like to think so. If I want to achieve my ultimate goal, I should be specific, timely and disciplined to follow my plans through; which basically trims down to my daily goals. Instead of listing out 10 people to call today, each for a minute; I’d rather call 3 people and spend ample time talking with them. I won’t plan to finish a whole book today because realistically, I can’t. I know many things call for my attention and some are painfully more important than reading a very good book; some things like writing the first chapter of my first book (second actually). I’d do myself a lot good by planning to read two chapters of that good book instead. In the end I’d be more excited to know at least 1 person likes me better today than having 8 who barely remember I called, I’d feel fulfilled to know I’m finally penning down the next big thing in my head. Easy really does it.

2.      See 1. Above

What’s on your not-to-do list today? Feel free to share your thoughts here.

The Beginning...

ok... well.. not exactly, but this is my first ever 'craziest' decision. starting and running a blog had always been a dream but I never thought it'd happen this way. I often hear people talk about dramatic decisions and changes in their lives but I seldom pointed that finger at myself. As I type away, I think of one lesson I just learnt about life; you never really plan for everything, you won't always be prepared for some things. It's life's way of testing how flexible you can be. sometimes, it's just best to accept those things you can't change, find opportunities where no one ever looked and thrive on them.
 It may not make sense to you in the beginning; I attest to this fact because I'm enjoying this bit already, even though I'm still dazed by my action, but as you move on you discover the beautiful things lying beneath the ugly surface. Not everything has to start out well.
Ok I'd save the 'proverbs' for another time. It's nice; to be here, to have you here and I hope to meet you soonest!